FROM KNOWING ONESELF TO PRAYING

rop down dew, you heavens, from above, and let the clouds rain the Redeemer…"

I silently say this prayer when looking up at the sky.

Up above, I see nothing but an immense space behind the clouds. But I pray to neither the sky nor the clouds but to One Who rules the sky and the clouds.

I implore Him to drop down dew, for I know I'm so dry. I beg Him to rescue me, for I know I'm so poor.

Alas for my fate!

I know I'm not really what I usually think of myself to be.
I know I'm not really what I often dream of becoming.
I know I'm not really what other people think of me to be.
I know I'm not really what I believe they think of me to be.

I'm so little and dependent. I can't come into existence by my own power. In me, there may be some knowledge, some virtue, and some goodness, but all these things I can't possess without somebody's help.

Mostly they come from my learning from others.

Even in physical life I've to be dependent. From air to food and drink, to clothing and housing.

I'm really a nothingness and nakedness.

To that nothingness are added countless silly things: silly thoughts, silly wishes, silly words, and silly deeds, the worst among them being to sin.

I've sinned exceedingly in my thoughts and in my words, in what I've done and in what I've failed to do, and such sins I commit many a time every day. A little profit or pleasure may tempt me to sin just as a breath of wind, a piece of food, or an accident may make me sick or kill me.

I'm feeble indeed.

Such is my fate and it's even worse. Despite this, I believe God stills loves me. He loves me a lot. He is love. He is hope.

The better I know of myself, the closer I'll become to God and the more I'll love Him. I'm not fearful and desperate at all. On the contrary, looking up at Him, I pray all the more earnestly:

"Drop down dew, you heavens, from above, and let the clouds rain the Redeemer…"

Most Rev. John Baptist Bùi Tuần, Talking to Oneself
Translation by Đan Quang Tâm