A talk with Nguyen Phi Long
One of the most significant ministries that we can do nowadays is ministry to youths in prison. Presently, young people constitute a large percentage of the prison population, and without the help needed, this number can only rise. As we will find out in the following conversation with Nguyen Phi Long, who spends his time ministering to youths in prison, there are more to the kids in prison than meets the eye. Long Phi visits Cook County Juvenile Detention Center in Illinois once a week where he talks to juveniles awaiting their court dates, and oftentimes finds them in desperate situations. But through ministering to these juveniles, Long Phi has in turn learned much from them and about himself. "Young Catholics" is pleased to bring you this conversation with Long Phi.
Young Catholics: Can you tell us a little bit about what your ministry involves?
Nguyen Phi Long: Well, I work in the Juvenile Detention Center in Cook County, Illinois. The juveniles in this center range in age from 11-16. I am assigned to two units. Each unit has approximately 20-25 kids. The majority of the inmates are blacks and Latinos, then whites and Asians. Once a week, I pay these kids a visit to talk to them, provide them some company, and give them an outlet to discuss about things going on in their lives.
YC: What is the general background of these kids?
NPL: Most of the kids come from very dysfunctional families where they face abusive and violent environments. They come from situations of drugs and gangs.
YC: How do these issues come up in your ministry to them?
NPL: There are three issues that they are most interested in and want to talk about; and they are family, their court situation, and their life in the detention center.
Because they come from dysfunctional, violent, and abusive environments, most of the kids that I talk to don't have either a father, a mother or sometimes both. In their lives, drugs are prevalent. There is no one to care for them. No one cares about what they do or what they accomplish. No one treats them with love, dignity, or treat them for whom they are. That affects the way they approach the world. They are suspicious of everyone. They don't trust anybody, even those closest to them.
Another thing that constantly occupies their mind is their court situation. In the detention environment, it is extremely tense. You could imagine that after all, these are kids. They should be outside having fun, not stay shut in one place. In the center, even if you want to talk, you have to raise your hand. But adding to the problem, the juveniles often don't know for sure what's going to happen next in their court situation. They don't know when their public defender is going to come. They only know when it happens, so until it does, they have to wait. It's a terrible thing on the psyche to have to face the unknown, waiting for the court day. Sometimes a scheduled court date is postponed until the next week, or the next month, or indefinitely. So it causes them to worry a lot because most of them want to go home. One kid, before Thanksgiving, shared with me that it was his first time in jail. He wished he could go home to celebrate the holiday with his family. But instead he had to stay in jail.
The third issue that the kids want to discuss is the life in jail. There many guys from different racial backgrounds. And they also come from violent environments. They pick on each other because they are kids. If a kid decides to stand up, he may get in trouble and get put in the record. If you are good, you can move up to a higher level where you have some more privileges with the phone, or be able to do housework. A little bit more freedom compared to the lower level. If you get into a fight, then you have to start over again. And a lot of kids don't want to have to deal with that. There are also different gangs that the guys come from. You can imagine that they don't get along.
YC: What do you do when you are with these kids?
NPL: The most important thing that I can do is simply to be present with them. That's the key to entering their world. These kids watch TV all day and they don't have other real human beings to listen to them. So my role is to be a good listener and be present to them. They have a lot of issues, legal, emotional, and what not that I cannot solve. But I can provide an outlet for them to pour out their emotions and thoughts.
YC: How have they responded to you?
NPL: These are very nice kids. This is one of the transforming experiences for me. Before, I had many biases against criminals and the prison setting. I have these horrible images of prison and what kind of people live in there, but now that I encounter them, I realize that they are more than just criminals. Yes, they do bad things, but they are not bad people. I've been able to see these kids beyond what they have done for who they are. And they are human beings who need to be treated with dignity and respect. They have hopes, and dreams, and goals like all of us.
YC: What has been the greatest difficulty for you in this prison ministry?
NPL: I would say the language. These kids come from a culture where they use a lot of slang and other terms used in the gang setting. Sometimes, I have a hard time to follow and understand. I keep having to ask them to repeat words and phrases. And I am afraid that it disrupts the flow of our conversation. The second difficulty is to be "present" itself. To be present sounds easy, but it's very challenging to be a good listener. As human beings, we tend to give input, opinion, and advice. But in prison, I can't give advice all the time and I can't solve legal or personal problems. They are beyond my means and ability. But it's also difficult to come without my own agenda. Before, I did have my own agenda or questions that I wanted to ask and expected answers to. But in reality, it doesn't work that way. I have to go with the flow and see how things are going. The lesson I've learned is not come with my personal agenda and expectations. Instead, I have to discover the individual needs of each kid in the process of talking to him.
YC: What kind of reward has this ministry brought you?
NPL: I think the greatest reward is to be able to feel that I can be an instrument and be at service for someone. There are kids who look very sad at first and don't feel like talking to me when I come to visit them. When I ask questions they don't say anything or answer with just "No" or "Yes." But inside, I know that they have many worries and concerns. Once they start talking more to me, after a while, I can see that they feel a bit happier. Even a laugh or two. Even though I didn't do anything, but I feel that I brought at least a moment of happiness to them and made them forget their troubles for just a little while. If we can give each other a laugh a day, what a better place the world would be. It's a blessing for me to be able to do that.
YC: What do you think these kids need most in their lives?
NPL: As a minister, that is all I can offer. As criminals, these kids belong to the justice system, and I don't work in that. I am in the ministerial system. But I know that they need help to reorganize their lives when they get out of prison so that they can be productive people. It's very hard to get out of the life that got them into prison. They need people to walk with them in their initial period to guide them. They need people to love them and guide them. If we have a good relationship with one guy or two, we can continue to keep in contact with him when he gets out of prison and help support him to move forward.
YC: How has this ministry helped you in gaining ministerial experience?
NPL: Like I mentioned before, as a missionary in today's world, we don't come to convert people, direct them to follow your agenda, but come to discover the faith and situations of others. In the prison situation, I don't come with my own agenda but come to see the individual situation and agenda of each of the people I see. In the future, when I come to another country or another ministry, I will be able to do that from my experience in prison ministry. I've also been able to see past the outer façade of people. Criminals do bad things but are not necessarily bad people. I am able to see beyond what they did, to treat them as human beings.
YC: How do you compare this ministry with other ministries that you've done?
NPL: This ministry has been more challenging compared to other ministries because here I am dealing with kids. For example, if I talk about God, heaven and hell, right and wrong, I cannot talk theology or in the same manner as adults. I have to talk to them at their level, using examples and language that they can relate to. This is not always easy. In fact, it is very difficult. When I talk to kids, I have to use a lot of daily experiences to help them see the theology.
YC: Do you find the problems you listen to in your ministry affecting your daily life?
NPL: One of the good things in this ministry is that there is a team that I work with. Before we visit the kids, we pray together and share with each other about what is going on in our ministry. Then we go off to our assigned units. Afterward our visits, we get together again in small groups to share with each other about what happened that night in terms of our difficulties, things that we've learned, or things that went well. This is also a way to share with others about our ministry and to learn from the approaches of others. It helps us to learn and improve in the different ways we can approach certain situations. Because of this mutual support, we don't carry the problems in the ministry home. Instead, we have a chance to air them out and not make them a burden on other parts of our lives.
YC: Thanks for sharing about your ministry. I am sure that you are doing great work in this ministry. Good luck and may God continue to guide you in this very important task.
NPL: Thank you. It was my pleasure to talk to you.
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