The Boy With The Golden Heart

Robby

e learn about love through pain" said Zee Ferrufino, president of KBNO radio station, Denver, and a man who knows his share about love and pain, having arrived at this wisdom through the death of his son Robby, at age 10, in 1989.

"Nothing can come easy," Ferrufino said. "There's pain, agony, and the suffering of loss that nothing can cure. Nothing but a miracle from God. What happened to me, I consider a miracle. I call it a miracle. It definitely has to be a miracle."

But Ferrufino didn't always believe. In fact, when his youngest son contracted peripheral neuroepithelioma-an extremely rare form of cancer -Ferrufino abandoned his Catholicism.

"I never loved anybody in my life like I loved Robby," said Ferrufino, a native of Bolivia.

He and his son spent time together at work and at play. Robby enjoyed sports, both as a participant and a spectator. Robby also enjoyed earning money, so Ferrufino often let his son work in his furniture store; Robby especially liked to work at the cash register.

"He was an incredible child. He had tremendous courage. He was always smiling. He looked so healthy," his father said. "I thought cancer was only for older people. I couldn't understand why God would make a little kid so sick. Then I didn't believe in God. I didn't believe in an afterlife. I quit going to Mass. I was desperate. I lost, completely, my faith."

Until Robby died.

"He died in my arms," Ferrufino said.

The day of Robby's death, his family and friends gathered to comfort one another and to plan services. Ferrufino told his staff at his furniture store not to call him unless a dire emergency arose. But that afternoon, Ferrufino got a telephone call from his store.

An Emergency Situation?

The dire emergency? A white dove had flown in the front door of the store and perched on the cash register. The men at the store attempted to chase the dove away, but the bird flew around the store, eluding them. They tried and tried to catch the bird, or to chase it away. Eventually, they used a broom to shoo the dove out the back door. A short while later, the dove returned.

"Once might have been a coincidence," Ferrufino said. "But the dove came back, and it had to fly around a whole block of buildings to get back in the front door."

The store manager phoned Ferrufino just before closing time to tell him that they still hadn't captured the bird. One of the employees said that he was scared, that whatever was happening caused the hair on the back of his neck to stand up.

Meanwhile, at Ferrufino's house, one of the mourners remembered reading a book about a similar happening involving a Chicago man whose young son had died. The father encountered a white dove as he went to Lake Michigan to scatter his son's ashes.

"I started realizing something strange and beautiful was happening," Ferrufino said. "I had a beautiful sensation - a sense of peace. I asked them if they were sure the dove was still there, and they said yes.

"I went to the store, and when I walked in the door, the dove flew right into my hands, immediately. It was a bright white dove. Beautiful. Peace came to me. I was not anymore desperate, as I had been in the last three years."

Ferrufino put the dove in a box and took it home.

"My mother told me that she'd never heard or seen anything like it," he said. "She said God was sending the Holy Spirit to let me know Robby is OK."

The Ferrufinos kept a cat in the house, so they put the dove in the garage, along with some food and water.

"I wanted to keep it," Ferrufino said.

"But people told me I needed to let it go free."

Letting It Go

The day of Robby's burial, Ferrufino decided to release the dove prior to going to Mt. Olivet Cemetery. Robby's older brothers attempted to catch the dove in the garage, but couldn't.

Again, when Ferrufino walked into the garage, the dove flew right to him.

"I let it go, and it flew to the fence," he said. "It stayed for a while, and then it started to fly in circles. It flew higher and higher, and then it disappeared. Lot of people saw it. If I had been alone, people wouldn't have believed it."

"It was a healing for our whole family," said Ferrufino. "This dove renew my faith; now my faith is so strong. There is a God. There is another life."

Aside from the disease that cut short his life, was a boy who was compassionate, generous, brave. "He had such dignity," said Robby's mother. "He had such faith. I really believe he was touched by God."

Robby, in turn, touched many people, including fellow patient at Children Hospital, President George Bush, Colorado Gov. Roy Romer and even Mother Teresa, whom he met in 1989 the Jefferson County Airport.

"Mother Teresa took Robby alone into the plane to pray," Ferrufino said "After a little while, she came out, and she was crying. And I asked Robby 'What happened? Why is Mother Teresa crying? What did you do?' And Robby just said, 'I didn't do anything, Dad.'"

Ferrufino later learned what had transpired between Mother Teresa and Robby. The Nobel laureate whom many consider a living saint had told Robby that she wanted to pray for him. But Robby told Mother Teresa to pray, instead, for his friends at the hospital.

Robby's generosity earned him the epithet "the boy with the golden heart," a phrase coined by one of his teachers.

"He was always giving," Ferrufino said. "Every night I went to visit him at Children's Hospital, I brought him a large pizza. Robby would go up and down the halls giving away pizza.

"Once, I brought him a big Mickey Mouse from California. I had to even get special permission to bring it on the plane. I brought it to the hospital and Robby gave it away. I said, 'Son, why did you give that Mickey Mouse away? I went to a lot of trouble to get that for you.' And Robby took me down the hall and said, 'Look, Dad,' and he showed me the little kid sleeping against the Mickey Mouse. Robby said, 'See, Dad, he didn't have any toys to play with, so I gave him mine.'"

Ferrufino said, "I learned so much from Robby. He was only 10 years old, but he taught us so much."

Just before Robby's death, Ferrufino took him to a Denver Bronco game.

"We sat in the mayor's box" he explained. "Robby really enjoyed himself. He was even eating. After the game, he told me, 'Dad, I prayed so hard to God to let me watch the game, and I didn't even have any pains.' It was the first time he'd ever mentioned his prayers. Before I'd tell him to pray, and he'd tell me, 'Everybody's praying for me, Daddy. I don't need to pray. But this time, he knew he needed to pray. Then Robby told me, 'I don't want to die so soon.'"

Robby did die soon thereafter, within a week.

To keep alive their son's spirit, his parents founded Robby's Friends.

"Robby told me once, 'Dad, these kids need to have fun in order to get a cure for cancer.' And I promised Robby I would do something to help sick kids have fun," Ferrufino said.

Robby's Friends eases the strain on families with children suffering from cancer by hosting parties and picnics, taking children to sporting events; and sponsoring family ski trips.

Ferrufino

"My dream is to have a house where these kids can come to play games, to eat, to have fun, some beds for them to rest, just to get out of the hospital," Ferrufino said. "It's so sad when they have nothing to do but stay in bed. Kids with cancer-those are my heroes now. They're so pained, but they enjoy life."

Ferrufino enjoys fulfilling his promise to Robby, sustaining the love between father and son, between the living and the dead: "I think of him everyday."