Seize the Moment: A Cliché or a Way of Life? |
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n Agust 25, 2001, I was watching television late at night when a breaking news reported that Aaliyah, the singer/actress on the verge of stardom had died in a plane crash in the Bahamas. At the time of her death, the beautiful artist who was scheduled to star in the sequel of "The Matrix" was only 22 years old. As a music and movie fan, I have gotten to know Aaliyah's works and felt that she would have a bright future. After the news of Aaliyah's death made its way through the entertainment world and the public, there was much mourning from her fans and peers in the music industry. Many expressed regret at the fact that the beautiful and talented artist had her life taken away at such a young age. Others predicted what Aaliyah's future would have been like had the accident not taken place. Others took a philosophical perspective to comment on the need to make the best out of the present moment because there is nothing guaranteed about the future. The idea of living in the present moment is by no means new. For thousands of years, those who knew how to live a good life—Jesus, Sakyamuni, Confucius—knew and taught that we must always live in the present moment. There are popular slogans advocating this method of living such as "Carpe diem (seize the day)," "Today is a gift from God. That's why they call it the present," "The longest journey begins with a single step," "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today," and so on. Nowadays, even the so called "New Age" movements propagate this ancient advice. Unfortunately, while most of us are acquainted with the idea, few of us really understand it or are willing to practice it. In the first place, the idea of living in the present sounds redundant. Of course we are living in the present. When else can we live but in the present? What we are talking about, however, is not so much the physical aspect of living, but the spiritual and emotional dimensions. In our lives, many of us possess a state of mind that continually orients us a way from the present, either towards the future or back to the past. Many of us go to school or go to work only to look forward to the weekend when we can sleep or go out. The weekend not the weekdays is the time when we truly "live." Those of us who have no weekends trudge along waiting for the next big holiday. In other aspects of our lives, we are always looking for the next thing that keeps our interest. What's the next movie or music album to be released? What's the next fashion trend? What's the next car we are hoping to buy? The questions are countless. In some ways, we can justify that our interest in the future gives us motivation to go through life with all of its difficulties. By thinking about the nice car that we will eventually drive, it gives us motivation to wake up early every morning to go to work. Unfortunately, many of us do not only think about the future to be motivated. Rather, we worry about the future to the extent that our eating and sleeping is negatively affected. We start coming up with worst case scenarios so horrendous that we begin to fear what lies ahead. At other times, we create expectations about the future so unrealistic that they will likely result in disappointments. Both of these things can cripple us and become obstacles to our ability to concentrate on the present things. Equally unhealthy is the fact that many of us often dwell on the past. People, especially those who are older talk a lot about the "good old days" and how much better things were back then. Nothing now or in the future will ever equal the beautiful and vivid memories of their childhood. The other side of the story is those who remember their past with only feelings of regret and images of pain and suffering. A common memory of the past is an injury that was done to us by someone important in our lives. The pain was so strong that we are unable to forget and forgive, so we choose to nurse the feeling in our heart and speak about it only with the greatest bitterness. Another common unpleasant memory is of a mistake that we have made in the past that may have hurt ourselves or others. Feelings of shame and regret, therefore, continue to plague us everyday of our lives. In many ways, there is nothing wrong with remembering the past. The past is important because it reminds us where we have gone. The good memories of the past connect us with those who have played important parts in our lives. Likewise, the painful memories of the past serve as lessons for us to learn from. However, the danger is present when we constantly dwell on the past at the expense of the present or the future. When we have made a mistake in the past, the best that we can do is to be determined to not repeat the same mistake again and move on. Mulling over past wrongs and hurts can only manipulate us and prevent us from living our best in the present. What then does it mean to live in the present? The Book of Ecclesiastes (3:1-12) tells us that to everything there is a time. There is a time to be born, to live, to love, to cry, to laugh, to mourn, and so on. We can never regain the past and there is nothing about the future that is guaranteed. All we have is this life, this moment, this breath. The past is gone and the future is only a potential. What is actual and real and powerful is the instant that we say "now." To live in the present is to skillfully take hold of the "now" and do the best that we can so that there will not be regrets but joy at having lived a good life. One way that we can be skillful is to be attentive or mindful about what is going on in us. For example, when our actions are carried out in hurt or anger, being mindful of these feelings will remind us that these are unhealthy emotions and will result in unwanted consequences. Being mindful can also help us to check other unhealthy emotions of anxiety, restlessness, hopelessness, etc. Being aware of our unhealthy tendencies the moment they happen, we can then turn our thoughts and actions to a more wholesome direction. To live well in the present is also being able to have wisdom and understanding. For example, gaining the ability to understand can help us to distinguish between what is important and what is urgent. In our lives, it is too often that we confuse what is important for what is urgent. For example, as I was writing this article, my sister came into the room and asked me to join her and my parents for dinner. I was in the middle of my train of thought and did not entirely want to stop midway through. Writing this article for me is an important activity. However, by no means is this article urgent. After all, there is no deadline and if I had never written it, there would have been no negative consequences. On the other hand, if I had refused my sister's invitation, I would have missed a good meal of "bò lùc lắc, cá kho tộ, and canh mướp –đắng." More importantly, I would have missed an opportunity to share some precious time and conversation with important people in my lives whom I rarely get a chance to see. If I did not grab this moment to be with my family, I would have lost it forever. In fact, it is very possible that I may never get another moment like it again. While this was one time when I made the right decision, it is quite often that my choices are not as wise. Unfortunately, I believe that I am not alone in this. In Cardinal Francis Xavier Nguyen Van Thuan's book, The Road of Hope, he recounts a prayer that came to his mind during a long night in prison: Dear Jesus, I will wait no longer. (DHV, #977, my translation). Indeed, to live a good life is to live each minute of it well. For us, as Christians, living well in the present is also a sign of our trust and dependence on God who knows what we need in our lives. Thinking too much about the future can cripple us with fear and anxiety. As Jesus tells us, "Do not worry about your life and what you will eat, or about your body and what you will wear. For life is more than food and the body more than clothing. Can anyone of you by worrying add a moment to your lifespan? If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest?" (Lk 12:22-23, 25). Jesus reassures us that as God even takes care of the wild grass in the field, God will take care of us who are much more important than them. This by no means tells us that we do not need to plan for the future or that we are not responsible for future outcomes. However, we must remember that we do not have complete control of what will come. We must be prepared physically and spiritually for the things that will happen in the future with trust that God has our best interest in mind. In addition, living in the present moment is to appreciate and rejoice in the things that we have. It must be emphasized that it is not so much what we have but in how much we appreciate them that most matters. The Book of Ecclesiastes tells us that the things of the world are ultimately futile and impermanent. However, these things are gifts that God has blessed us and therefore it is good for us to "be glad and to do well during life" (3:12). The present moment and everything that we have now are indeed gifts from God. Therefore, in living the present moment well, we are living a way that best shows our appreciation and thanks for God's goodness. It is fitting that St. Paul advises that "whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God" (1 Cor 10:31). In conclusion, living in the present is not just a redundant proposition. If we look at the meaning of what it means to live in the present, it is obvious that most of us find this to be challenging. Many are held hostage by the past and over-anxious about the future—both of which distract us and prevent us from truly enjoying what is now. I hope that through this article, we realize the meaning of the present-focus and the importance of living every moment. Living in the present is a way for us to achieve a good life emotionally and spiritually. It is a way in which we express our trust and dependence on God. And finally, it is a way in which we appreciate and rejoice in the gifts that God has given us. If we live this way, there can never be regrets no matter how old we get because we will know that we did all that can to seize each and every moment of our lives. (D.L.) |