DOES MORALITY LIMIT OUR FREEDOM?

he scene was a supermarket check-out lane. The kid, about five years old, wanted a bag of candy. He tossed it in the shopping cart. His mother explained that he'd already had enough candy and they weren't going to buy more. She removed the candy from the cart.

The kid grabbed it and threw it back into the cart with an angry, "I want it!" He stomped his feet, waved his arms, yelled, and put on a fake cry. His father told him to stop. He didn't stop. After a second attempt, the father gave up and sort of pretended the whole thing wasn't happening.

The candy went in and out of the shopping cart a couple more times. Finally the parents gave in and bought it. The kid magically quieted down, of course.

I felt really sorry for the kid because he was learning a rotten lesson: "If there's something I want, all I have to do is act bratty enough and break a few rules, and sooner or later I'll get it, even though I'm not supposed to have it." The kid might very well develop a bad attitude. Perhaps he will go through his childhood and teen years as an ill-mannered, unlikable, "spoiled brat."

But it could be a lot worse. His "I want" outlook could expand to include lots of things other than candy. He would probably change methods, of course; he wouldn't jump up and down, scream, and wave his arms when he's 16, 18, or 25. But his attitude, "I want-and therefore I will get, no matter what," could become his pattern of life.

"I want-and therefore I will get." It's easy to see that this can be an immature, self-harmful attitude in a five-year-old. We can easily agree that parents need a firm "no" to things they want but shouldn't have.

But it's harder to see the same truth when we're thinking about ourselves. Since growing up brings with it the responsibility of deciding things for ourselves, we might tend to think that anybody's "no"--even God's--is an unfair restriction to our free choice. Principles of right and wrong can seem like the voice of a parent. Nearly everyone has experienced the feeling, "I'm not a little kid anymore, so I should be able to do what I want.

Does following a code of right and wrong limit my freedom? The answer is a big "yes" -- IF freedom means doing absolutely anything that seems like a kick.

But is that real freedom? If every time I see something attractive "I want!" starts screaming inside me and drives me nuts until I figure out a way to get it (legally or illegally), is that being free? Real freedom helps me grow and it brings me peace. It doesn't give me a quick thrill and then make me pay for it later. Real freedom doesn't open up a small door and then slam the big ones shut in my face.

For the sake of argument, let's make up an example of "freedom." Meet a seventeen-year-old kid who for the past two years has been acquainted with both grass and booze. He argues that no one is going to tell him what he can or can't do. He tries to handle school and getting high regularly at the same time. This means scrambling to cover for cut classes, scrambling to copy homework at the last minute, walking into tests he doesn't know anything about and hoping he can cheat enough to pass-without getting busted. It means constantly trying to hide his breath, lifting a little money here and there to buy some joints and a bottle, and always wondering whether he's covered his tracks well enough.

That's freedom?

Admittedly, this is an extreme case, but it illustrates a point. Moral codes offer guidance--not to limit our freedom but to keep us going in the right direction. They are meant to help us and to keep us from hurting ourselves and others.