WHAT? MY FAMILY A HOLY FAMILY?

hat comes to mind when you hear the words "The Holy Family"? The perfect family unattainable in today's society? An unrealistic, saccharine sweet family like the Bradys or the Ingalls? A family whose goodness came easy because it consisted of a saint, the mother of God, and God Himself? I mean, we couldn't possibly imitate them in the 20th century, could we?

Well, actually, we already imitate them without even trying.

They were faced with the same day-today struggles that we are: they had to work hard to have food to eat and a place to live (they experienced poverty-Jesus was even born in an animal's feed box); they had to pay taxes; they had to follow God's law; and they didn't always understand one another (imagine having God for a child!).

Sounds familiar, huh?

Family life is a struggle for everyone no matter who you are or what time period you live in. But these days it's especially tough. To begin with, there's a new addition to families today that parents in Jesus' time didn't have to put up with: teenagers! You see, before the 1950's or so, "teenagers" didn't really exist as a social group all their own-it was just parents and children.

But now we're on the map. And everyone's having a hard time figuring us out-including us. We're not quite ready to be independent from our families, yet we don't want to be treated like children, either. We're trying to form our identity, and yet we're constantly changing. Our confusion causes us to tune in to ourselves, and sometimes we lose sight of the other members of our family. If you're like me, you either feel like no one else in your family understands you, or you don't want them to understand you. On top of that, our families today have to deal with constant stress.

The alarm clock screeches in your ear, jolting you out of a pleasant dream ... you stumble out of bed, splash cold water on your unsuspecting face, run a comb through your stubborn hair, program the VCR, grab a doughnut, hop into the car and speed off into ... just another day. Everything is set up to be fast: Ready-tellers, fast food, freeways, fax machines... There never seems to be a moment to breathe, let alone to pray or to talk to other members of our family.

So what do we do, give up? Never! Although difficult, it's not impossible to be a holy family. Prayer, communication, and respect are the keys to success. We should never underestimate the power of prayer. "Ask, and you will receive," said Jesus. And He talked particularly about group prayer: "If two of you join your voices on earth to pray for anything whatever, it shall be granted you." Prayer works, and the family that prays together stays together.

So does the family that speaks together. "You've got a mouth, why don't you use it when it counts!" These words, though usually yelled in my family, hint at something important: we have to communicate! This is the communication era. There was a time when children were to be "seen and not heard," but today we're discovering the need to talk with one another, to tell each other what bothers us, and to say "I love you."

But it takes a time commitment. Sacrificing one night of TV watching is well worth the "bonding" that occurs between people when they open themselves up to one another. It's better to deal with a real family than to match a fake one on TV.

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T .... find out what it means to me!" Aretha Franklin is not the only person who values respect. God commands it and each one of us appreciates it. No matter who we are, we as children of God should treat one another with respect. Jesus Himself respected and obeyed His mother (John 2:1 -1 1), even though He was God! Respect needs to accompany prayer and communication.

So now, it's up to us to improve our families. And we must start with ourselves. It's better than waiting until it's too late, and then end up crying about "The Living Years" with Mike and the Mechanics.

(YOU Magazine)